Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, stupid pig.

Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig, she will ignore you.

Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Safhonkarcunarpbegmispig.

5. Never talk about fire.