Stercunbin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, uncaring gorilla.

Stercunbin created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stercunbin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stercunbin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Stercunbin's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Stercunbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Always wear blue.