Nelkonbapdod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous bird.

Nelkonbapdod created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelkonbapdod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nelkonbapdod, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Nelkonbapdod's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nelkonbapdod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nelkonbapdod.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near snails while wearing blue coats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Always obey Nelkonbapdod's priests.