Bogquagwot is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud newt.

Bogquagwot created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogquagwot, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bogquagwot, he will cry a lot.

Bogquagwot's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Bogquagwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Hide if nine great tits approach from the west.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.