Vagtifbep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, blissful duck.

Vagtifbep created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagtifbep, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vagtifbep, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Vagtifbep's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Vagtifbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near geese while wearing purple jumpers.

2. Never leap near eagles.

3. You must pray to Vagtifbep five times a day.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near ducks while wearing gray rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Fast once a month.