Quartfligveen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, sage beaver.

Quartfligveen created Europe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartfligveen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quartfligveen, he will destroy your home planet.

Quartfligveen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quartfligveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands fawn.

2. Worship no other gods but Quartfligveen.

3. Hide from green tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Erect three silver sculptures of Quartfligveen on top of important buildings.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.