Dablooport is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, cheerful aardvark.

Dablooport created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dablooport, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dablooport, it will strike you with lightening.

Dablooport's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dablooport's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the south.

2. Dablooport must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never feed peanuts to otters while wearing turquoise scarves.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always pray immersed in water.