Bimnigzag is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-assured seal.

Bimnigzag created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bimnigzag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bimnigzag, it will turn you into a slug.

Bimnigzag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bimnigzag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bimnigzag.