Bambuming is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, strong dog.

Bambuming created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bambuming, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bambuming, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bambuming's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bambuming's Holy Commandments

1. Bambuming must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not keep eight tapirs in a large pit.