Kabjarnhom is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, pitiless capybara.

Kabjarnhom created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabjarnhom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabjarnhom, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kabjarnhom's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Kabjarnhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Always help birds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.