Jinjigbep is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, ill-tempered newt.

Jinjigbep created the planet Venus four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinjigbep, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jinjigbep, she will send you a sign.

Jinjigbep's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Jinjigbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to sharks while wearing orange shorts.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always obey Jinjigbep's priests.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.