Nelnadbedgat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic eagle.

Nelnadbedgat created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelnadbedgat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nelnadbedgat, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Nelnadbedgat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Nelnadbedgat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away from green pigs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never write about planets.