Nig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair dragonfly.

Nig created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nig, she will torture you forever.

Nig's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Nig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Nig on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Nig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Feed all hungry rats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.