Gabhignurl is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic elephant.

Gabhignurl created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabhignurl, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gabhignurl, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gabhignurl's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Gabhignurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Never feed strawberries to snails while wearing scarves.

3. Erect eight gold sculptures of Gabhignurl on top of important buildings.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gabhignurl.

5. Always treat sharks with great respect.