Wadquimlig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witless penguin.

Wadquimlig created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadquimlig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wadquimlig, she will torture you forever.

Wadquimlig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Wadquimlig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.