Mumtikwad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, smart slug.

Mumtikwad created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumtikwad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mumtikwad, she will come to you in dreams.

Mumtikwad's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Mumtikwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near dogs.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never paint your head fawn.