Hakcetbet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent otter.

Hakcetbet created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hakcetbet, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hakcetbet, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Hakcetbet's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Hakcetbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to snails while wearing green rings.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Geese are not to be trusted.