Teengupgen Bassflankik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, able fly.

Teengupgen Bassflankik created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teengupgen Bassflankik, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Teengupgen Bassflankik, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Teengupgen Bassflankik's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Teengupgen Bassflankik's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention porpoises.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not take Teengupgen Bassflankik's name in vain.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Pray towards the south.