Quatdummin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust seal.

Quatdummin created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatdummin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quatdummin, she will turn you into a sheep.

Quatdummin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quatdummin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Hide if six turtles approach from the east.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.