Barngamhig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, idiotic manatee.

Barngamhig created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barngamhig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Barngamhig, he will destroy your home solar system.

Barngamhig's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Barngamhig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tortoises.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Barngamhig on top of important buildings.

5. Never mention dogs.