Tamhadnurl Yogfonkadpak Konpagcat is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous jaguar.

Tamhadnurl Yogfonkadpak Konpagcat created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamhadnurl Yogfonkadpak Konpagcat, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tamhadnurl Yogfonkadpak Konpagcat, he will turn you into a frog.

Tamhadnurl Yogfonkadpak Konpagcat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tamhadnurl Yogfonkadpak Konpagcat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never feed lots of bananas to ants while wearing pink trousers.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about archaea.