Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless fly.

Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick goats.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. You must love Logkapyamdodhanbasskemlag.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always help sick tapirs.