Wiktinbod is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, proud spider.

Wiktinbod created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiktinbod, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wiktinbod, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wiktinbod's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Wiktinbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

2. Never wear mauve tights.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never mention mice.