Nilcedkem is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, merciless beaver.

Nilcedkem created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilcedkem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nilcedkem, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Nilcedkem's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Nilcedkem's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not take Nilcedkem's name in vain.