Titvabrak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, idiotic hedgehog.

Titvabrak created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titvabrak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Titvabrak, he will turn you into a puffin.

Titvabrak's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Titvabrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never wear gray corsets.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about stars.