Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, caring tortoise.

Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to bats while wearing jumpers.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Nuttlibsadquagbumvab Fossbesttip Bembindod in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.