Jabfid is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, deceitful grasshopper.

Jabfid created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfid, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jabfid, she will turn you into a goat.

Jabfid's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Jabfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Retreat if five pigs approach from the south.

3. You must never eat nuts.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Never sing in holy places.