Kamquamtad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, weak hamster.

Kamquamtad created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamquamtad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kamquamtad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kamquamtad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Kamquamtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.