Gabvoljen is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet chicken.

Gabvoljen created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabvoljen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gabvoljen, he will laugh at you.

Gabvoljen's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gabvoljen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near snails while wearing pink scarves and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your feet.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always look after injured goats.