Gomtipmetsit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy wren.

Gomtipmetsit created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomtipmetsit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gomtipmetsit, he will turn you into a worm.

Gomtipmetsit's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gomtipmetsit's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. You must pray to Gomtipmetsit five times a day.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never paint your chest black.