Ranmatcut is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, almighty donkey.

Ranmatcut created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ranmatcut, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ranmatcut, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ranmatcut's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ranmatcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never hurt grasshopers.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.