Bafmegcun is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow wombat.

Bafmegcun created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafmegcun, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bafmegcun, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bafmegcun's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bafmegcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always pray immersed in water.