Kambetken is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-assured dolphin.

Kambetken created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kambetken, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kambetken, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kambetken's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Kambetken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dogs.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to otters while wearing yellow corsets.

3. Retreat if seven voles approach from the east.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never run in holy places.