Haphundud is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, annoying lobster.

Haphundud created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Haphundud, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Haphundud, he will turn you into a duck.

Haphundud's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Haphundud's Holy Commandments

1. Haphundud loves swans, so they must be respected.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Do not eat aubergines.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.