Witflapdib is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful cow.

Witflapdib created oxygen four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witflapdib, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Witflapdib, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Witflapdib's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Witflapdib's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Do not sing in public.