Sagbanwan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, tiresome badger.

Sagbanwan created the Milkyway nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagbanwan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sagbanwan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Sagbanwan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Sagbanwan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must love Sagbanwan.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from purple cats for they are unholy.