Tarmon is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful fairy.

Tarmon created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarmon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarmon, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tarmon's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tarmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Never feed lots of cucumbers to tapirs while wearing fawn jumpers.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Tarmon in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tarmon.

5. Always pray immersed in water.