Lapgatcip is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent crocodile.

Lapgatcip created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapgatcip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lapgatcip, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Lapgatcip's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Lapgatcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Put Lapgatcip first in all things.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Retreat if seven voles approach from the east.