Linstipman is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering finch.

Linstipman created the Small Magellanic Cloud six million years ago.

If you believe in Linstipman, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Linstipman, she will turn you into a puffin.

Linstipman's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Linstipman's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Linstipman loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.