Zodlunbapgutcen Botzimarp is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring octopus.

Zodlunbapgutcen Botzimarp created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodlunbapgutcen Botzimarp, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zodlunbapgutcen Botzimarp, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Zodlunbapgutcen Botzimarp's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Zodlunbapgutcen Botzimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Never pour water over plants.