Flatbumnig is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unsympathetic rat.

Flatbumnig created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatbumnig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatbumnig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flatbumnig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Flatbumnig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flatbumnig.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never think about black holes.