Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, flying bat.

Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp, he will think nothing of it.

Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Erect four carbon sculptures of Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp on top of important buildings.

3. Always help rats.

4. You must pray to Zenarnlat Lagdonlarp nine times a day.

5. Do not shave your back.