Nillnuryar is a god.

She takes the form of a small, flying squid.

Nillnuryar created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillnuryar, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nillnuryar, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nillnuryar's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nillnuryar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never feed grapes to tapirs while wearing shorts.