Gutbell is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthoughtful monkey.

Gutbell created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbell, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gutbell, she will turn you into a mole.

Gutbell's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gutbell's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not make images of living things.