Jenbarndumsandnurtwatdotpig Kiknillxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, astonishing dingo.

Jenbarndumsandnurtwatdotpig Kiknillxen created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenbarndumsandnurtwatdotpig Kiknillxen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jenbarndumsandnurtwatdotpig Kiknillxen, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Jenbarndumsandnurtwatdotpig Kiknillxen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Jenbarndumsandnurtwatdotpig Kiknillxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tortoises.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.