Fatmaptom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart otter.

Fatmaptom created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fatmaptom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fatmaptom, it will turn you into a puffin.

Fatmaptom's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fatmaptom's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of whales.

2. Never mention squirrels.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Never chant near birds.