Kinripget is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, stupid chinchilla.

Kinripget created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinripget, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinripget, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kinripget's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kinripget's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never eat green fruit.