Xucmaprutt is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unthinking troll.

Xucmaprutt created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucmaprutt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xucmaprutt, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xucmaprutt's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Xucmaprutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Xucmaprutt.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.