Fudcemtail is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful dolphin.

Fudcemtail created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudcemtail, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fudcemtail, it will come to you in dreams.

Fudcemtail's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fudcemtail's Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fudcemtail.

5. Never eat bread.