Jamventag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring hummingbird.

Jamventag created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamventag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamventag, she will boil you in a big pot.

Jamventag's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jamventag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jamventag.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.